I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner. I use shampoo in the shower.
When I wash my hair the shampoo runs down my whole body. And printed on the label is this warning: "For Extra Body and Volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well, I have gotten rid of the shampoo, and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. It's label reads:
Disolves fat that is otherwise hard to remove.
[Editor's Note: This joke was submitted by Rebecca Joyce Johnson Burnette of Winterville, GA.]