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HUGH'S NEWS

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Aphorism: A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or a general truth

8/24/2016

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​Here are 21 aphorisms to read for your enjoyment and knowledge:
        1. The nicest  thing about the future is . . . that it always starts
        tomorrow.
        2. Money will buy a fine dog . . .but only kindness will make
        him wag his tail.
        3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . . you
        probably don't have any sense at all.
        4. Seat belts are not as confining . . .as wheelchairs.
        5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . . when you're
        in deep water.
        6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid
        of the dark . . .
        to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
        7. Business conventions are important . . . because they
        demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
        8. Why is it that at class reunions . . .you feel younger than
        everyone else looks?
        9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.
        10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy
        who wants to buy a car.
        11. There are no new sins . . .the old ones just get more
        publicity.
        12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
        number at 4 a.m. . . like, it could be the right number.
        13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . . when
        their team is winning.
        14. I've reached the age where . . . 'happy hour' is
        a nap.
        15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . . there's no
        way you're going to like it.
        16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . . not everybody
        has the same size bucket.
        17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . . we'll have
        thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
        (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
        18. Money can't buy happiness . . .
        but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac
        than in a Yugo.
        19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every
        joint . . . you're probably dead.
        20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't
        mind . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.
        21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . but it's still a
        gift.
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