What's the difference between giving God a tithe and giving a tip? A tip is 15%.
Please come to the front
A pastor was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
The Repeat Sermon
A pastor reported to his new church congregation. Several of the Great Old Saints had held on to life just long enough for their new pastor. Consequently in four weeks he did eight funerals.
He did not have time to write his regular Sunday Sermons. So he used the sermon from the Sunday before--3 more times.
The Council went to the Bishop complaining that this new pastor had used the same sermon 4 times in a row. The Bishop asked what the sermon was about. The Council couldn't remember, they scratched their heads and hemmed and hawed--but they really couldn't remember.
The Bishop said, "Let him use it one more time."