1. Law of Mechanical Repair -- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to use the bathroom.
2. Law of Gravity -- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability -- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers -- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5. Variation Law -- If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath -- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters -- The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result -- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics -- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas -- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, drinks, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.