Christian Football
Quarterback Sneak--Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play--What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time--The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer--Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion--Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Staying in the Pocket--What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
Two-minute Warning--The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay--The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
Sudden Death-What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."
Trap--You're called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run--Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Flex Defense--The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option--The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
Blitz--The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
Posted on
Tue, January 17, 2012
by Hugh Morgan